Infested

At 10:30 last night I was blissfully watching tv and stuffing my face with potato soup when out of nowhere my nose holes came under attack. I was pretty sure that my dog had died and the smell was his decomposing carcass. It seemed highly unlikely since I had just let him outside 20 minutes earlier, but I knew the smell was coming from him. Upon confirming that he was still alive, I then had to make sure it was not a shart. I didn't want that kind of surprise the next day. I am happy to say that my floor was shit free. While trying to coax the old man to his feet, I noticed that he had little raised bumps on him which usually means allergies. I haven't changed his food in months and he has never had fall allergies, but he is allergic to fleas. Then a giant red flag goes off in my head. Earlier in the day, my neighbor said her dog is getting over fleas. The neighbor that lives right next door. FUCK! Sure enough, within a minute of looking for the little buggers, I had found 2. Thankfully I am a freak and keep plenty of flea stuff in the house for the dog, unfortunately all the flea medicine in the world will not rid our house of the fumes escaping his ass. The cat did not fair as well and ended up needing a bath. After a good mauling, Fazizzo (yes, that is the cat's name) is nice and clean and I spent the night feeling like I had bugs all over me. Now we are off to get stuff to spray the yard and flea collars that I will be rocking as anklets for a while.

Life is so unfair!

Today, Hailey was her happy little self when I picked her up until we were about a mile from school. She became quiet, which for anyone who knows that child knows that isn't normal. When I asked her what was up, she gave me this look like she was really thinking about something. After a minute she went on to tell me a story about how she spilled something at school, so she went to grab a sponge because the sponge would do a better job cleaning than a rag, and Suzie Sillypants was talking about this that and everything else, and how she loved Suzie Sillypants' socks and there was something shiny in the corner and how she heard a weird sound coming from the bathroom and since the door was open she walked right in only to see a little boy's butt and his pee going into the toilet. I am not sure how she did it, but I think she told me the whole story without ever pausing for a breath. So now, we are walking into the Commissary and Hailey is talking about butt cheeks and standing up to pee. By the time we hit the produce section, Hailey is in tears because she has to sit to pee; at one point she was wailing "Life is so unfair! Why do I have to sit down to pee?" It is a good thing that I dressed nicely to go to the store today, I would hate for people to think we were trashy.

The side effects of Autumn

I never thought that I would be cursing Autumn for me having to pick feces up off the floor, but that is what I was doing 30 minutes ago. Our lovely home becomes a spider sanctuary in the cold months. It doesn't matter how often we spray, the little buggers still manage to creep in. Well tonight, a not so little bugger decided it would be awesome to climb on Josie mid-dump. Little Miss Muffit was scared from her tuffet and ran away... while still pooping. The spider is now dead. Not going to lie, when Josie freaked out I thought "How bad could it be?" I am surprised there wasn't a trail of my own urine next to Josie's deposits. The bastard was huge, but at least he is now dead.

Damn you, Autumn. Damn you.

ETA- I have been informed it was a wolf spider. Google that and tell me you wouldn't promptly crap the floor as you flee if one landed on you.

What a day!

I think I have managed to feel every emotion possible since waking up today. Today was Speech day for Teague. He has been doing well with Robin and you can tell he has really been trying, that is until today. He didn't make a sound, unless you could screaming and crying a sound. He was loud, but not really trying to communicating what he wanted. He also refused to use the few signs that he knows. It was beyond frustrating, but at the same time, Robin was able to see what he is typically like at home. When he wanted something, he jimmied the child proof locks on the toy drawers. If he wanted something opened, he would throw it at Robin or hit it on the floor. Robin is wonderful and patient, more patient than me. She told me that although Teague is severely delayed, there is hope he can catch up within a years time.

After this disappointment that was speech, it was so nice to hear that someone whom I care about deeply is doing well. I won't go more into it, I know she is going to read this and know she was in my thoughts all day.

Then this afternoon, I had the opportunity to meet with our Congressman's office to discuss Tricare benefits, ECHO and respite. I never would have thought that I would be doing something like that, but I have to say I am happy I did and hopeful the issues my fellow EFM families are dealing with will get resolved...eventually.

Hailey has been doing so well at school. She is two weeks in and she has already learned so much. She has taken to reading like it is going out of style. I am so proud of her, but there is so much guilt that comes along with that pride. I find myself questioning whether Hailey is so far ahead because I was able to spend so much more time with her as a child and Teague is so behind because he doesn't get that same attention.

How can I forget about Teague and my coffee. This is when grateful comes in. Teague grabbed my cup of coffee (the monkey stood on a drum so he could reach over the babygate into the kitchen) and spilled it all over himself. I am not grateful for that, but rather that he was unhurt and I was able to call a friend that would calm me down and let me know what to watch for. Disappointment soon followed as I was supposed to be going over to one of my favorite people in the World's house and he and I were in no shape to go.

Josie was just down here even though it is hours past her bedtime. I could hear that all too familiar breathing before she even rounded the corner to the living room. I had planned on getting more Albuterol on Tuesday when the kids see the ped since we are very low, I hope we make it until then. I was able to give her a breathing treatment and the wheezing lessened. So because I am that type of person, I am debating if I should shower now in case we need to go to the doctor at a moments notice or wait until morning. I have found you get treated better when the doctors can't smell you from across the room. It sounds like such an odd thing to debate, but with Quent being gone, I worry that if I shower now, Josie will wake up again and since she is such a little zombie when she wakes up, she wouldn't think to check the shower, panic and make things worse. And if I wait until morning, there is a good chance that I will be smelled by doctors far before they can see me. This is when the loneliness kicks in the most; when I can't turn to Quent and ask him how terrible does my hair really look or if he could keep an extra ear on the kids while I hope in the shower and get the "just in case" bag ready. One would think that I would have that all set to go, but since I always forget that we are out of diapers or thickener packets, that is the first place to get raided.

You may be wondering how often I forget that we are out of diapers. Honestly, every time we finish a box. We have had some doozies as far as make shift diapers are concerned. After Teague was born, Josie was still in diapers and I forgot she didn't have any. Supplied with hospital grade maxi pads, the wonderful mesh panties and some duct tape we were saved for the night. Thank goodness she wasn't in pull-ups, that thing wasn't going anywhere.

And here comes happiness and love. I have decided to rock a dirty ponytail if I need to leave the house, make sure that I am not visibly dirty with the use of wet wipes and watch Burlesque. I am sure that isn't the normal feelings associated with that movie, but when I saw this movie in the theater I was able to go with my sister and my mom last Thanksgiving. The last time that we were together for something other than a funeral was four years ago. Although I talk to them both all the time (I credit them with my sanity), it was just so nice to be able to do something as simple as go to the movies with them.

And this is why we are done having kids...

It is 9:05, I have yet to have my coffee but I have already scrubbed crap off of bedroom walls. Last night in my hurry for peace and quiet, I forgot to put a diaper on Teague and put him to bed in soccer shorts. You know it is never a good thing when you smell him before even walking up the stair and you can hear him laughing hysterically while clapping. I was greeted by something straight out of a horror movie, but instead of blood it was shit. Everywhere. Even poor Croad the Toad was not spared, but he had a new log to climb on.

While I was dealing with that mess, the girls were eating breakfast. I am not sure what words were exchanged between the two, but something obviously was said to anger Josie. Using her wonderful 3-year old logic, the only reasonable thing to do would be dump a bowl of Cheerios (complete with thickened milk) all over her sister's head. For those not fortunate enough to experience thickened milk, it feels like snot. When you add Cheerio's to the mix, it smells like stale pee. So now my upstairs smells like crap and the kitchen and Hailey smell like stale pee. Fawesome!

And this is why we are done having kids...