One of those days

Do you ever have one of those days where you wish it were socially acceptable to pour beer on your cheerios? That is my day so far and the clock just struck noon. Although I probably wouldn't do beer or cheerios since I hate both.

Our day started with Josie falling off her chair at breakfast. Now had she been monkeying around I would consider it a natural consequence and gone on with my day. However she wasn't monkeying around, but rather sitting nicely waiting for me to get her a spoon for her yogurt. This was a nice slap to the face to remind me that things are just a bit different in our house. Josie falls from her seat at least once a week and every time it is while she is just sitting. I hate to admit it, but this is the one reason we seldom eat at the table anymore. We normally have a picnic in the living room that way if Josie tips over while eating, she can't get hurt. Thankfully she wasn't hurt, just upset that it keeps happening. I am right there with ya kid.

No more than thirty minutes later Teague was eating a Gouda cheese (did you know Gouda cheese makes great window paint? Not only does it turn your window white it is a pain in the ass to get off) and it broke in half. Teague erupted into the best meltdown I have ever had the privilege of seeing. Attempts to swap the cheese or squish it back together were met with slaps to the face and kicks to other body parts. After the longest hour of my life, the dog came to the rescue and ate the cheese. For a brief second I thought "oh fuck! If he gets this upset over a broken cheese, what will he do when the dog eats it?" The answer: Nothing. He jumped up and ran off to play like he was having the best day ever.

Teague's idea of playing lately has been to dump things everywhere. I try not to wish time would pass more quickly, but I would give anything to skip to the point in my life when he wasn't dumping things all day long. So far he has dumped a container of Xanthan Gum (what we use for thickener) in the toilet, kicked a container of oats down the steps, a new thing of almond milk in the play kitchen sink, craisens in the fish tank and the list could go on for days. Today he dumped a half gallon of milk on the steps. I must have given a pretty good mom stare because without saying a word all three kids went quickly and quietly up the steps.

While I am sopping up the milk and the stubborn oats from days earlier I hear a blood curdling scream from upstairs. I go up to find Hailey holding her leg, Teague smiling and Hailey saying Teague bit her. Sure as shit, there is a the bloody outline of his teeth on the inside of her thigh and a bit of blood on the corner of his mouth.

I am not even going to go into the amount of choking at lunch, that would just get depressing. So for now, I am going to make the little two nap and the eldest go to school so I can pretend like this morning never ever happened.