Infested

At 10:30 last night I was blissfully watching tv and stuffing my face with potato soup when out of nowhere my nose holes came under attack. I was pretty sure that my dog had died and the smell was his decomposing carcass. It seemed highly unlikely since I had just let him outside 20 minutes earlier, but I knew the smell was coming from him. Upon confirming that he was still alive, I then had to make sure it was not a shart. I didn't want that kind of surprise the next day. I am happy to say that my floor was shit free. While trying to coax the old man to his feet, I noticed that he had little raised bumps on him which usually means allergies. I haven't changed his food in months and he has never had fall allergies, but he is allergic to fleas. Then a giant red flag goes off in my head. Earlier in the day, my neighbor said her dog is getting over fleas. The neighbor that lives right next door. FUCK! Sure enough, within a minute of looking for the little buggers, I had found 2. Thankfully I am a freak and keep plenty of flea stuff in the house for the dog, unfortunately all the flea medicine in the world will not rid our house of the fumes escaping his ass. The cat did not fair as well and ended up needing a bath. After a good mauling, Fazizzo (yes, that is the cat's name) is nice and clean and I spent the night feeling like I had bugs all over me. Now we are off to get stuff to spray the yard and flea collars that I will be rocking as anklets for a while.